What To Say When Asked, “What Do You Do?”
My friend, and very talented writer, Jack Regan, wrote about this not long ago, but something similar happened to me over the weekend. So, I thought I’d mention it…because I took the coward’s way out. I ducked the bullet. I chickened-out.
Donna and I were at a social function celebrating Labor Day with some folks from her work place. It was the first time I’d met any of them. They were all nice, non-threatening folks. As you would expect, I was asked more than once, “What do you do?” I stuck a sack over my head. My response was, “I’m retired.” That’s it, just, I’m retired. Before they could ask anything further, I quickly followed this up with a counter-question about the specifics of my inquisitor’s job, or family, or how lousy a boss Donna is. My intent was to misdirect further queries about me. Normal people love to talk about themselves. I wasn’t disappointed.
But, I began to wonder, why was I so loathe to admit I’m a writer? I normally have a pretty solid self-image—some might suggest too solid. I don’t much lack for confidence. I have good people skills, though I have to force myself to use them. So, why the sack trick?
Maybe I thought I was overstating the case. My book is gonna be re-published in 2010, but isn’t now available. Perhaps I felt a bit of a fraud. When my book is out, then, I’m an author, not until.
In a variation of the above, perhaps I was afraid book two will never see the light of publishing day. Maybe I’m thinking you need more than one book to qualify as a “real” author.
Perhaps I felt, cranking out some blog posts, and thinking about book three–while trying to cleanup book two–didn’t qualify as a writer. Writers actively write for newspapers and magazines. Actual, non-fraudulent writers always have a book on the threshold of publication. Maybe I felt more like a wanna be author.
Perhaps I haven’t had enough success as a writer and believe I need more…fame, before I can toss myself in the same pool as…well…any author you wanna name—except Alan Orloff.
Perhaps I thought it just sounded arrogant and pretentious.
Perhaps this is just normal author paranoia.
So, I’m curious. When you’re asked about your vocation, is, “Writer” your first and proud answer. Or, do you mention it further down the list, after you’ve highlighted your career as a nuclear physicist and astronaut.
Themocracy
Hey- I might be first today:) Everything you just wrote about we all experience–at least I have. It took me a long time to tell people I am a writer.I always felt like I had to have enough clips under my belt before I qualified. But all that isn’t true–if you write, you are a writer. If you get published, then you are a published writer and that makes you a professional. But yeah–having a book published would help immensely and you already did that.
Go stand in front of a mirror and say, “I’m a writer.” It will get easier:)
I’ll “admit” I’m a writer (smile) – even though rarely has someone I’ve just met read any of my books. Sometimes I’ll preface it with “I’m semi-retired,” and THEN add the author golden years enterprise I’m working on. And then sometimes I’ll just say I’m a reformed general contractor and a “recovering hippie” – which give me a lead in to promoting my first book, “I Romanced the Stone (Memoirs of a Recovering Hippie.” Works for me.
Marvin D Wilson
I’m not sure if I just got slammed or not. Hmmm.
It took me a while to be able to respond to that question with the answer “writer.” Sometimes I still say “stay-at-home dad slash writer.”
Now that I’m about to enter promo mode, I need to force myself to say “writer” a little more confidently.
I thought I was the only one that did this. I’m better at saying I’m a writer now but there are times I use the retired line for all the reasons you mentioned.
I’m in exactly the same place you are, Galen. Sometimes I say retired, sometimes I say writer. But the truth is, if we write, we are writers. And you are a published writer! I think the issue is about our society’s view of success.
Karen
Most of the time I say I’m a mom.
I’m thinking my editors don’t like that, though.
But it’s much easier than the discussion that follows.
Elizabeth
I’m with Elizabeth. I usually say a work-at-home mom. Recently I’ve been able to say writer too, and first. It took a long time. When can I say author? That’s my question.
Great post Galen, I like know I’m not the only one who for some reason never volunteered writer right away. (That’s a mouthful!)
It’s a tricky question, isn’t it? I have said that I’m a writer, but the usual response is “Really? For fun?” which is somewhat unnerving. However my royalties paid for the family vacation this summer, so I’ve got to be doing something right. (pun somewhat intended).
I think because it’s an unusual answer and one that always leads to more questions, most of us are loathe to admit it. It comes under the heading of “look at me” behaviour and most writers aren’t too comfortable with that.
People who know me know what I do. I get asked “How’s the ‘whatever’ coming along?” and then we move on to other things. Then again, most of them knew me when I was in the theatre and if you want an odd reaction (somewhat like you’re a specimen in a petri dish) tell people that you’re an actor. That’s fun.
Elspeth
I think the reason I hesitate to admit I’m a writer is because of the questions that follow: what have you written (not so bad), who’s your publisher (can be bad if the questioner is a publishing snob and hasn’t heard of your publisher or, in the case of self-publishing, is a bit of a snob), how many have you sold (can usually be ducked), do you write full-time (no, so I must be a bad writer), and they go on and on.
It isn’t that I hate answering questions. In fact, I like talking about writing. But I’ve had a lot of “meh”-type experiences. People who looked really interested when I first mention that I’m a writer and then I watch their interest fade as they realize I haven’t hit the New York Times Bestseller list yet.
On the other hand, I’ve had some really great conversations that would never have happened if I’d kept my writer’s status a secret.
I guess it just comes down to whether or not I feel up to taking the risk. I’ve started answering the “what do you do” question by smiling and saying something like, “I work at the library by day and I’m a starving writer by night.” The “starving” part (although not entirely true) nips a lot of the annoying questions in the bud, but leaves the door open to discuss being a writer. Usually, only people interested in the craft proceed far beyond this point.
P.S. Thanks for the shout-out!
You sure deserve it, Jack.
Another P.S. Did you get permission from Alan to use his portrait at the top of your post?
Since I still work full time, it isn’t a problem for me yet. I answer that I work full time in finance, and the writing thing doesn’t even come up, unless conversation leads into the direction of passions and future plans. Then I tell them I am the author of the yet-to-be-finished next Great American Novel
Fortunately, when people ask what I do, no one expects a 30 second elevator interview. I’m only good for about 10 seconds.
Once I say I’m a writer, I give them a quick schpeel: I’m a writer, and I write fictional stories weaving together breakthroughs in physics and technolgy with gree,, murder, and mayhem.
That usually picques their interests. Then I show them a copy of my book that I always carry with me. Sometimes I even seel a copy or two.
Stephen Tremp
Wow – I did not know I was in such esteemed company – I always find that difficult to answer as well. I have the one book through Lulu and another one next year through a traditional publisher. When I started writing I thought I’d just be…well, writing. Who knew you had to do all this promoting?!?
Nancy, from Realms of Thought…
What a great topic. I haven’t worked in design in three years. I have made money writing commercial scripts, and I write fiction…but I still hesitate to say that I am a writer! When asked the dreaded “What do you do?” I usually say, designer, which is the truth, I worked in the field for twenty years. I guess it boils down to feeling unworthy of the title. Someday I hope to answer without giving it any thought, “I am a writer.”