Of Shoes and Men
What is it with women and shoes? I spent Labor Day—or part thereof—shopping for shoes with my wife, Donna. We spent at least an hour in one store. We s-l-o-w-l-y walked up one aisle and down the next…hit them all, a couple of times. We looked at every style, ever made…and then some.
She tried on shoes. She rejected shoes. She fell in love with shoes. She fell out of love with shoes. She fell in–and out–of love with the same shoes within five minutes.
When we left with two pair of shoes, some socks, and lord knows what else, Donna was in a very good humor. She had real fun there…probably more than at Cliff’s a couple days earlier. Make no mistake, I’m pleased about that. But…
When I shop for dress shoes, it takes about ten minutes. I go in. I ask (Don’t roam the aisles) for my size in black and/or brown. I get them. I might try them on. I pay. I leave. I’m done. Ten minutes, tops—including to and from the car time. Not that tough.
I have three pair of shoes…(Note a high comfort level as a side benefit.)
- One (1) set of gym/jogging shoes,
- A black set of loafers
- A brown set of loafers (Both loafers are the same style, make, model, and year.)
When these shoes die, I’ll get three more pair just like them—or more than likely, I’ll already be dead. Other than specialty shoes, like hiking or wading boots, that’s it. That’s all the shoes I own. Additionally, I am always in a good humor, 
regardless of shoe status.
Donna has, I counted them…
- Three pair of gym/jogging shoes
- Nineteen (19) pair of office type dress shoes in various styles and colors. Most look horribly uncomfortable.
We have, the last time I checked, the same number of feet—though mine are more attractive. Just sayin’…
I’ll generalize and say that this ratio of shoes per gender is not unusual. That is–sorry ladies–women have far and away more shoes than men…per foot. So, yes, even one-legged women are included in this metric. (Notice how this has moved from gender generalization to scientific metric.)
So, just for the sake of argument, let’s say the above premise is true…just for discussion you understand…can anyone explain why it’s necessary for women to have X number of more shoes than men? And, please, “To match my fifty purses,” is ruled-out as an acceptable answer.
Oh, and if you can in someway tie your answer to writing…I’ll, uh, send you, mail you, buy you, you win, I’ll think very highly of you.
Themocracy
Shoe stores? Shoe stores? I buy my shoes on-line! What’s my size, you ask? Whatever’s on sale!
I can just see you trimming your own feet to fit the $1.99 shoes you bought online that were several sizes too small. What a cheapskate.
Alan, I re-wrote my response to your orignial comment–this time using standard English grammar. It *might* now be understandable. Sigh.
I really don’t have an answer for ya, Galen. I experience much the same scenarios when we go to the mall. Sometimes I’ll even plan our walking pattern so we won’t pass by the shoe store. Same thing with the shoe aisle in any department store. She spots the shoes and makes a beeline. Then I have to distract her.
Marybeth: “Oooh! Shoes!”
Me: “Hey, look! That baby in the stroller just picked an old guy’s pocket!”
Marybeth: “Oooh! Shoes!”
It never works.
Jack, you know I don’t have many shoes and now that winter is coming I only have one pair I can wear to work. Just for posting this lie about me I am going to make you take me shopping for winter footwear.
Oh, crap.
Okay,I’m the first woman to respond. The shoes have to match the outfit. And there are shoes you wear cause they look great, but you can’t keep them on for very long because they hurt your feet. And by the way, I’m not a shoe person. Most of my friends have way more than I do, but I have about a dozen pairs of shoes. If all else fails, read John Gray’s book, “Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus” and perhaps you’ll understand better. Good luck!
Karen
HAHAHAHAHA! Love the summartion Galen. While I don’t have the same shoe fetish many women have (possibly because I’m tall, so my high heel occasions are more limited–for instance I don’t wear them on dates, as they make me taller than my husband)… They are strictly a fancy occasion thing.
and I have a much FUSSIER husband than I think you are… I believe he has
2 sneakers (one regular, one for yard work)
sandles (the manly kind)
2 pairs of dress shoes (brown and black)
boots (we do live in Michigan)
Doc Martens (because they were cool when last we cared to be cool)
=7
I probably have 30 pairs. BUT… for me it is largely because I am cheap. I never get rid of anything–still have a pair from college (and many were bargains when purchased or belonged to my children before their feet passed mine).
But women’s clothes vary a lot more–men for instance never dress entirely in very light colors. A woman needs cream or white shoes for that (probably both because everyone knows they don’t mix and match). Men don’t need such things unless they are Pat Boone. never seen a man in silver shoes (my only exception to not having a shoe fetish–strappy silver sandals)
As the tart though, I should definitely recommend every man out there find a nice pair of stilettos, just to get in touch with his feminine side *wink*
Then maybe you could understand women and the shoe fetish a little better.
Men wear pants or shorts mostly in basic black, blue or khaki –women wear (and each thing requires a specific shoe) long dresses, short dresses, dressy dresses, sun dresses, work dresses, skirts, skorts, dress pants, jeans, shorts, capris, work out clothing, etc. Each item comes in every color of the rainbow and then some – need I say more.
Here’s the relation to writing: Shoes are as important to women as pens and notebooks are to authors.
Unfortunately, my feet grew during my two pregnancies (oh, the things we don’t know when we agree to become mommies) and so I have pre-preggo shoes and post-preggo shoes. Why I have shoes that no longer fit, I really don’t know.
I’ve got flip flops on now. And I wore the flip flops yesterday. And, until it gets cold (which may be never, here) I’ll wear the flip flops.
But I do have a bunch of other shoes. Just in case.
Elizabeth
Mystery Writing is Murder
The pregnancy and feet thing is true.
I like comfy shoes and since I don’t work in an office, I don’t have that many. Of course, I have some to work with my different outfits – jean/skirts/dresses.
It’s in their jeans – I mean genes – they have to have color coordinated everything, plus styles change all the time and ya have to keep up, all that. Me I’m like you. One pair of running/walking/workout shoes, one pair of casual loafers and – ok, I DO have three pair of dress shoes, black, brown and burgundy. But Spartan is the key and just replace existing with new when old gets worn.
How to tie this in with writing? You just did. The scene with you shopping with wifey dear is good reading – perfect! Put a scene like that into a novel and it would be a delight.
Marvin D Wilson
The relationship between women and their shoes is a multi-faceted one. Women buy shoes for practical reasons (there’s a hole in my old pair) and for ego-building (these are so pretty!) and many, many other reasons. The number of pairs varies (although disposable income has a great deal to do with it). A nice pair of shoes can make you feel better. It’s odd but it’s true. Looking down at well-clad feet can make a woman feel a little more elegant which boosts self-confidence and who knows where that may lead?
Men will never understand this relationship and that’s just fine. Women will never understand many things about men. Now…how to tie this to writing…hmmm. Having one pair of shoes is like having only one character. Utilitarian, useful, but ultimately boring. Where’s the fun character? The comfortable stay-at-home character? The sporty character? There’s my attempt at a tie in.
Elspeth
We collect shoes for the same reason you men collect old rusty nuts and bolts in empty coffee cans or mason jars stacked on a shelf in the garage. Understand now?
Yeah, I didn’t think so. Oh well, I tried.
Julee:
Because you never know when you’ll need a screw?
Or, a rusty nut.
ooohhh… good one!
Hahahaha
Online beats the feet off a shoe store any day, Alan. But, sadly, my wife thinks the shoe store and the Eiffel Tower are equivalent attractions. So, no online. DO the scissors hurt when you cut your feet down? Not if the’re sharp, I guess.
Well, Jack, move over, pal, ’cause I’m the clueless play pen with you. It’s like they zone out. But, if it keeps her happy, then bring ‘em on.
Okay, Karen, I’ll give it a try.
You know, Hart, I never thought about looking at it through Pat Boone’s eyes…he still alive…but maybe that would help. How did you know I had a secret pair of Stilettos???
Jane, I can count on you to bring a consistently practical point of view to the table…which is a great thing, don’t misunderstand. Your point is well taken. I like your writing tie in, as well. The complete answer. Good job.
Growing feet associated with child birth…who woulda guessed? Who knew? However, flip-flops are a great solution to a host of problems, Elizabeth. Very Asian too, I might add. Don’t know why I feel compelled to say that, but, they are a popular foot wear choice in Asia.
Carolyn, with the busy schedule you’ve laid out for yourself, you’re gonna wish you had more shoes to wear with the many hats you’ve taken on. Good Luck!
Marv, sounds like you and I are cut from the same, uh…chunk of leather.
Ooooouh. Love your writing tie-in, Elspeth. That one is the winner as we head down the home stretch, very nice.
Ha, Julee, good point. But, no, I don’t understand. All those nuts and bolts *could* have a purpose one day, some vital function. How many black shoes are needed for the same dress?? I’m beginning to guess, more than one. And, maybe I don’t need to understand, Kinda like Steve’s black holes, or religious belief, maybe I just need to accept.
Okay, I am definitely feeling like the odd woman out. I did not get the shoe gene. I HATE shopping for shoes. What can I say? My SON on the other hand (wicked grin) has two pairs of dress shoes (black and brown) and about a dozen or more pairs of sneakers. Black ones, white ones, black and white, black and blue, high top, low top…well, you get the idea. Kids, lol.
Nancy, from Realms of Thought
That’s okay, Nancy. I never got the chocolate gene.
Elspeth
I must have gotten your chocolate gene, Elspeth, as well as my own.
I don’t like shopping at all. And I hate shoe shopping more than all the rest. When I retired, I swore I’d only wear comfortable shoes the rest of my life (and no more pantyhose). Except for a couple of weddings, I’ve stuck to my goal. When I go shoe shopping now, it usually for new walking/gym shoes and I do my best to buy two or three pair (on sale) so I don’t need to do it again for ages. A tie-in to writing? How about, instead of shoe shopping, I’d much rather be seated at my computer in comfy sweatpants and flannel shirt and slippers, writing of course.
Your wife, Donna, is normal. You are not. You must have different shoes to reflect your mood and protect the closet floor. If you don’t buy a bunch the women’s shoes will creep under your shirts and tongues will wag. You must maintain your territory and create a deterrent. When you have bought a particularly ugly set of shoes that lay about the house in response to a recent mates purchase she will slow down her buys because she is in fear of what you will come up with later.
Enjoyed your blog.
I actually contradict the female stereotype. I hate buying shoes. I keep the same pair as loooooong as I possibly can. I have a brown pair and black pair. And tennis shoes. that about covers it.
Let me just say to the other women . . . great job. And to Galen . . . the answers here were in man-speak. If you have to ask, you wouldn’t understand the answer. So we tell you things we think you might grasp. How’d I do, girls?
Now I’ll take my tongue out of my cheek
I had to go to an official dinner yesterday, and didn’t have a single pair of appropriate shoes. From entering the store to walking out with a pair of shoes took me exactly 10 minutes.
Including a pair each of specialised running shoes and gym shoes, I have exactly seven pairs of shoes in my closet.
I think you and Donna are the same as us here. My husband has the basic brown, black and sneakers pair of shoes. Don’t look on my side of the closet as it is filled! Just love to wear them and I don’t think men care about the matching at all.
Thank you for the good advice you gave me today about writing for the reader or myself:)
I love buying shoes and hate wearing them. Since I never, ever have managed to find a pair of shoes that are actually comfortable (I have weird feet), wearing shoes more than anything resemble an ancient form of torture. Ideally, therefore, I should be a “foot nudist”, but unfortunately this is not an option when you live in Norway (especially during the winter).
So why do I keep buying these horrid shoes? I like the possibility of having plenty to chose from, even though in reality, I always chose the same ones (the least painful ones).
Incidentally, though, I prefer to do my shoe shopping on my own. If I had a husband, I would firmly place him in a comfy chair in a nearby café and not let him come out until I had at least three pairs of new torture instruments in a bag (he would have to carry the bag).