Delphic Secrets Revealed—At No Cost!
I recently returned from Delphi. Long and arduous trip…gotta walk up the mountain…vehicles disrupt the Oracle’s cosmic vibes. In case you’re not the product of a useless liberal education, like I am, and are a little short on ancient Greek history, I stole wrote this blurb to help you out. What other blog is constantly giving you this kind of love??? All you gotta do is keep coming back.
Dating to 1400 BC, the Oracle of Delphi was the most important shrine in ancient Greece. Built around a sacred spring, Delphi was considered the omphalos–the center (literally navel)–of the world.
People came from across the ancient world to have the priestess of Apollo answer questions about the future. Her answers determined the course of everything, from when a farmer planted his seedlings, to if and when an empire should go to war.
Arguments over the correct interpretation of a–usually cryptic–oracular pronouncement were common. Cleverly, the oracle was always happy to give another prophecy…if more gold was provided.
I had no problem dealing with the Oracle. My wife operates in exactly the same manner. However, her price is…shoes. After all, who needs gold when you have shoes.
Anyway, I thought I’d share some Delphic gems. You’ll be pleased to know these are expense free! You’ll not have to pay in either gold…or shoes. You don’t have to travel to Greece, or, hike up that &^%$#@! mountain. I’ve also simplified the interpretation–very little to no Oracle ambiguity. I’m telling ya, you just don’t find freebies the quality of these anywhere on the internet. All you gotta do is dial-up good ole Imagineering Fiction and you’re set. Ready? Here we go…you might wanna bookmark these, they’re that good…
- Never test water-depth with both feet simultaneously. (See? I told you this was good stuff.)
- If you think nobody cares that you’re alive, try missing a house payment.
- Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you are critical, you’re a mile away, and you have their shoes.
- If you lend someone $20 dollars, and never see them again, you made a wise investment.
- Everyone seems normal, until you get to know them.
- A closed mouth gathers no foot.
- Duct tape is like ‘The Force’. It has a light and dark side, and it binds the universe together.
- There are two theories to arguing with your publisher. Neither works.
- You aren’t learning when your lips are moving…and its corollary…
- Never overlook an opportunity to shut up.
- Experience is something you don’t get until after you need it.
- And since Galen—a Greek (unlike me, Galen, The Geek) is considered the father of Medicine, we’ll close with this medicinal pronouncement….
- Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
I’ll have the weekly rollup of posts listed tomorrow, and a new, can’t miss, insightful and priceless—though yet to be dreamed up—posted on Monday. I know I’m excited. Until then, thanks for stopping by.
Themocracy
Absolutely LOVED the delphic gems! Good little history post here, dude – always can count on the Kindley man for some enlightenment. Hey here’s one to add to the if you think no one cares you’re alive thingy: “The fastest way to get back on your feet again is to miss two car payments.” The Old Silly
THAT is funny! I appreciated the words of wisdom for my Friday. I especially like the ones about keeping one’s mouth shut. Good advice for me as I have a crazy day today and might be running mine…
Elizabeth
Mystery Writing is Murder
Despite what Jack is always saying, you ARE a funny guy, Galen. Excellent gems! I enjoyed them all the way down in my omphalos.
The many Orloff fans want to know if your omphalos is an innie, or, and outtie? Well, actually, it’s just Jack who wants to know but is too shy to ask, or, have Wifey find out.
I think Alan’s innie has an outtie and that is what makes him so cranky, no to mention libelous. Pay no attention to his vile prattling, Galen. I have said and will always say that I think you have the funniest writing blog on the Internet that is run by someone with your name.
You’re right – those were gems and I’m so happy I didn’t have to climb a mountain to receive them. I particularly liked the one about duct tape.
I’ve always wanted to go to Delphi. Stll do, despite the …mountain. These are wonderful, Galen.
Karen
Ha, loved the “Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.” Wise, very wise
Galen, this is hilarious. And so true. I think I like the one about the house payment the most. Thanks for sharing.
The wisdom of these words is immense. I may have to spend several hours sitting quietly in a corner and meditating on the truths that you have shared.
I knew about the duct tape. I was in the theatre and trust me, no production happens without that magic monster. What helped save the crew of Apollo 13? Duct tape. It’s all-powerful.
Thanks for the smiles on this Friday morning. I look forward to more wisdom on Monday. Stopping by your blog is always a pleasure.
Elspeth
Excellent wisdom! Funny thing though… I have a hard time keeping my mouth closed anyway…
And I love that the center of the world gets to be called its bellybutton… wise people, those Greeks.
I love your last suggestion and will remember if someday should I find myself with that decision! Have a great weekend!
Loved the pearls of wisdom from the Oracle at Delphi. One really wise woman she is, and no ambiguity in her speech either.
Have a great weekend.