Hearts of the Morning Calm–Publication Update
I promised to pass along pre-publication tidbits in which you might be interested– particularly if you’re soon-to-be-published, or yet-to-be-published. The idea is to become familiar with, and prep for, what lies ahead.
You might recall we’ve discussed online editing with EtherPad…a collaborative, two-party process where my editor and I share a document, real time, on-screen. She edits, I concur—and that’s about how it works. 
Here’s a post describing the process.
Friday, there was a variation to that theme. Turns out there are a couple of things in my book that my editor wants to change–wholesale…as in several paragraphs. To this point, the changes have been mostly a matter of cut the material in question, insert a couple of smoothing sentences, read it for continuity and cohesiveness, then move on. Total time? Maybe five minutes per each of three or so occurrences. In other words, it’s been no big deal.
Friday, however, we encountered a section for which that process wouldn’t work. The text is too embedded, too integral to the surrounding text for it to be cut. It’s kinda funny; my editor wrote something to the effect of… “Go ahead and fix this.”
The screen was silent for about five minutes. Why? I had no idea how to fix it. As the time passed, my sense of tension mounted. I pictured my editor sitting at the other end of the screen, drumming her fingers faster and faster, waiting for me to, “fix this.” More time passed. Sweat beaded on my forehead. My pulse increase. My pupils dilated. I squirmed. My thoughts became strangled, muddled, and finally…frozen. Yes, it’s true, I choked.
All this time, I thought I was a pretty glib guy, able to conjure communication that was at least minimally passable. No one will ever mistake me for Faulkner, or a talk show host. At the same time, I’m normally able to mumble something! Not so Friday. Blank mind. Blank screen.
Finally, I suggested that she let me chew on the offending passages and get back to her. Since we were in the last few minutes of the session, she agreed.
Now, you’ll note I’m here chatting with you about this problem rather than, over there, “fixing it.” You might conclude the problem is solved. Ha! Oh, foolish friend. Of course it’s not fixed.
I’ve all kind of rational excuses reasons for procrastinating the delay. Still, if anyone wants to earn a couple of bucks–payable by check drawn on a Nigerian bank 
–smoothing some Kindley rhetoric gone rogue, please call me. My editor doesn’t have to know it was you who, “fixed it.” On the other hand, you’ll craft coherent and laudable prose, so, she’ll know it’s not my work. Hmmmm. Maybe I can convince her I took how-to-write-lessons over the weekend. Hey, it could work.
Please drop by again on Wednesday, when I’ll fill your eyes with more nonsense.
Themocracy
LOL! Don’t you love those deer-caught-in-headlights moments? (Or was it more like a cow eyeing a new gate?)
I hope a revlation strikes you, Galen!
I’ve hit a stumbling block, too. Maybe we can trade manuscripts!
Can you fit the text into some dialogue? Or does it need to disappear altogether? Can you take a snippet of it and tack it onto the end of the previous paragraph and take a snippet to tack onto the beginning of the following paragraph instead?
Elizabeth
Mystery Writing is Murder
I agree with Elizabeth’s solution. Although I had to chop out my fair share of paragraphs in my book as well.
I’d need to know “how” the text is offensive. Some editors can be such a pain in the tush, hmm? Not that I would ever be that way with any of MY clients.(wink)
The Old Silly
I don’t think I could fix anything if I knew someone was sitting there waiting on me. I have no doubt that you’ll come up with the perfect fix now that you are not being watched during your creative process.
Use the same sterling wit and cleverness you display in your blogs. You’ll be done in no time!
You’ll get it, I have not doubt. But I too would have liked to know what offended.
My husband’s solution for any writing problem: cut every third word – no one will notice. Not that I’d ever DO that.
I know that feeling, K, procastination is my middle name!
Steamy Darcy
Wow, I’m not sure I’d be able to write anything with someone standing over my virtual shoulder like that. In any case, I’m sure you’ll come through. (Helpful, eh?) Go make fun of Alan. That always makes me feel better, anyway. Maybe it’ll work for you. Or maybe you could have your editor make fun of Alan.