Today, A Superstar Guest, ALAN ORLOFF…
Today, one of my favorite bloggers. A funny, clever, and talented writer, Alan Orloff…
Thanks for inviting me to guest blog today, Galen! I was going to blog about writing software, mouth-to-mouth resuscitation of woodland creatures, and/or shoe-shopping, but you beat me to it. So you’re stuck with something much more mundane.
Can you guess what I’m referring to?
Here are some hints:
- It’s painful.
- It’s arduous.
- It’s demoralizing.
- It seems interminable.
- It is humbling.
- It is agonizing.
- It can be a royal PIA.
No, it’s not a root canal. It’s the querying process.
You’ve written a manuscript, put it through the critique group wringer, honed and polished that baby until it sparkles like my bald Uncle Teddy’s dome. Now you want to find an agent. Uh oh, that means only one thing. You’ve got to crank up the ol’ query machine.
One note. The following suggestions worked for me and are my opinions only. I’m sure you will find some (many?) people espousing strategies completely opposite to these. That just underscores one of the biggest truisms in publishing: It’s all subjective.
My suggestions:
Start your query with a summary of the story. Leave the introductions, throat-clearing, and “housekeeping” information until the end. Grab your agent-reader from the first word.
Use the same voice in your query that you use in your manuscript. “Voice” is what will set your query apart from the thousands of other queries making the rounds. Remember, the agent probably will have seen your characters and plots before, but your voice is unique.
Describe your story succinctly, cleverly, clearly. You have one page, make every single word (and punctuation mark) count.
Go easy on the bio. Sell yourself, but just hit the highlight(s). It’s mostly about the writing, and not about you (unless you are Oprah’s cousin). Mention relevant writing credits; again, don’t go overboard. Your award for Best Poet in Mrs. Finster’s Fifth Grade class is nice, but save it for your family reunion.
Use the A, B, C method and “batch it.” After you’ve compiled your list of agents who might be good fits, divide them into three groups, based on “awesomeness.” Then send out one batch of queries at a time (say, 8 –12), being sure to include a few agents from each group. This will let you make changes to your query (and your manuscript) as you go along, and you won’t exhaust all your prime prospects.
Don’t try to interpret form rejections. No means no. Move on, it’s not personal. Of course, if you do get some personalized feedback, take it to heart, but don’t necessarily start in with the revisions. I’d wait until I heard the same feedback a couple times (at least) before I undertook any drastic manuscript overhauls. Remember, writing is subjective.
Try not to stress or obsess. It doesn’t help. Just get to work on your next project.
I know, I know, easier said than done.
At least it’s not a root canal.
Alan Orloff’s debut mystery, DIAMONDS FOR THE DEAD, was published this month by Midnight Ink.
The first book in his new series, KILLER ROUTINE – A Last Laff Mystery, featuring Channing Hayes, a stand-up comic with a tragic past, will be out Spring 2011 (also from Midnight Ink). For more info, visit www.alanorloff.com
Themocracy
This is, as usual, an insightful post. Thanks for bringing some much needed class to the blog. Now, about those flying monkeys…
Best, Galen.
What great advice, Alan! Querying is *definitely* in the same category as root canals. I’m tweeting this one..
Elizabeth
Mystery Writing is Murder
Nice to see you here, Alan. I’d say your suggestions are spot on. However, I think I’d still prefer a root canal to that arduous process:)
Alan – Thanks for that good advice. You’ve offered some very useful suggestions that I’ll bet will make the querying process lots less like a root canal : ).
Great advice, Alan. I think this is a terrifying proposition to many – me included. I guess the ‘cleverly, clearly and succinctly’ section shouldn’t include the phrase “I’m so sick of this manuscript I could vomit”?
Pity.
Galen – Thanks for inviting me to guest blog today. It’s a true and distinct pleasure! And thanks for the kind words, too. Let us not talk of flying monkeys however.
Elizabeth – Yes, I do not miss querying.
Jane – After twenty or thirty (or 100) query rejections, I became numb. Then it became easier. (I know there’s a novocaine/root canal joke in there somewhere!)
Margot – Like maybe just getting a filling or two?
Elspeth – Hmm. I think if you could work “vomit” into your query you might stand out from all the rest.
This is great Alan! I just blogged about querying (of which I know little), and now I wish I’d seen this first so I could link to it.
Great post at a good time for me, I’ve got to start the query process….
Good tips. And yes, I bet a root canal is worse.
Alan – This is great advice! Thank you very much for sharing your findings. And, ugh, I’ve never had a root canal but the querying process is most certainly a PIA. The humor you espoused helps.
I’m another one about to jump in the query pool. A very timely post for me. Man, I hate this part!
Great advice–I think every writer should be able to create “cover” or “flap” copy for his or her work. The publisher is going to do it anyway, right? It’s a very good exercise, not only for the query letter but for the writing process, as well. What’s the story about? How is the editor going to explain it to the sales force and the sales force explain it to a bookseller. That’s how I think of it, anyway.
~Cleo