Damned if you do…
Last week, I had a most interesting rejection from agent, Emmanuelle Alspaugh. Below is her brief note. At first, I thought it was a form rejection…and for the most part, I believe it is. However, as you read it, you’ll see it’s been personalized just a bit…
Dear Galen,
Thank you for your query. While I was intrigued by the concept of your story, ultimately I didn’t fall in love with the characters or the way the first chapter unfolded. Trevor stuck me as unnecessarily misogynist. I’m sorry this isn’t the right fit, but I wish you the best in your agency search.
Sincerely,
Emmanuelle Alspaugh
Now before I get to the part that annoys, let me give Emmanuelle credit….
- Her note has a pleasant tone and is polite.
- She answered the query! I don’t care so much that it’s a rejection, at least she answered. Good show. Sorry, but all you agents that are, “too busy” to send even a pro-forma response…that’s just a bad way to do business. You get a query, you answer a query. Hey, it’s what your mom would say about good manners. How long does it take to: 1. Press reply, 2. Paste in a canned rejection, and 3. Click on Send? Ten seconds? Nathan Bransford gets more queries than God, and like God responds to all prayer, Bransford responds to all queries. So, to all you non-responding agents…poor from. Badly done.
- Her answer was personalized, leading me to believe she at least read parts of the query.
Okay, now to the annoyance–and I’m sure you know what it is, “Trevor stuck me as unnecessarily misogynist.”
- Okay, I’m impressed with, “misogynist,” but wonder at it’s selection. To show off? Closet passive-aggressive? Whatever.
- More to the point, her evaluation is based on one chapter…if she got all the way through it. Yes, Trevor has problems, as do the other major characters in the book. Of course they have problems. You kidding me?? Correct me if I’m wrong, please, but in order to have a character arc, you need a starting point from which to grow, change, and improve. Without such an arc, and without flaws, I would have been lambasted as incapable of creating interesting characters! She would have said my folks were flat, cardboard stereotypes.
- Trevor’s view of women…at the outset…is a starting point, and serves as a springboard for the crispy interaction between he and the female lead. Eventually, of course, he sees the light. However, Ms Alspaugh apparently couldn’t wait for that to happen. She just became annoyed that he had “women issues” and reached for the reject button. Apparently she likes her characters a little more on the bland and milksop side. Or, perhaps, with the kind of flaws of which she approves. Too bad.
- Lastly, “unnecessarily.” This one really irks. How can she make that judgment in one chapter or less? Unnecessarily? Come on. Please. Read more than 7 pages, then tell me about degrees of flaw and their place in a character’s nature. No way “unnecessarily” is fair…or, in this case, correct.
But wait!!! In the interest of balance, I should also acknowledge that she, “didn’t fall in love with the characters or the way the first chapter unfolded.”
Fair enough. Maybe that’s true. Maybe that sentence is more than just pro forma rejection language. It’s possible my interpretation of her comments is too narrow and that Chapter One of Betrayal is just…well…crap. Yes, that is absolutely possible. But I don’t think so. Still, maybe it was for her. Maybe the rejection was less about being misogynist (God, I love that word. If I use it 10 times in a sentence today, it’s officially mine!) and more about horrible writing. Can’t discount that.
So, dear writers, here’s your take away…Galen scratches his head…not sure what to tell you. It’s like that old Far Side cartoon you see to the right…
So, my advice? Give it your best shot, follow your instincts, and above all…query widely. Some responses will be more thoughtful and on-point than others.
Thanks for stopping by. Hope to see you again come Wednesday.
Themocracy
Art is subjective and it’s just one person’t opinion! Another agent might respond differently to the character. (Maybe one who’s a man?)
Love the Far Side cartoon!
Hi there,
Rejection may not be fatal, but it is hard. I’m not sure it’s such a good idea to put the name of the agent, what they said, and how negatively you feel about it on the internet, though. I’d be afraid of pissing off all the other agents. But that’s just me. Hang in there, Galen. I’m sure your manuscript will find its way into the right hands.
Karen
Ohhhh….I hated getting rejections. Even the personal ones. I still have a whole slew of them in my drawer that I need to cull. Just hang in there–and you’re right…querying widely within the folks who represent our genre really does help.
Elizabeth
Mystery Writing is Murder
Well, that was an interesting rejection. Like you, I thought character development was supposed to happen over the course of a novel. Anyway, hang in there. I’m confident the non-reject letter IS going to happen for you.
Love the Far Side cartoon.
Galen, have you ever checked out the Read ‘Em and Weep website? You’ll feel so much better about your rejection letter – trust me!
I figure the personalization means she at least had her interest piqued–she clearly READ it… and I think it is fair enough for her to have certain characteristics that are hard to think about representing. For her, mysogynism (or a perception of it) may just be a hot button for her.
You’ll find one–troubled characters really DO make for great reading.
Scratch your head, put ‘misogynist’ on your list of ‘Words I Need To Casually Drop in Conversations’ and move on. That agent is out there waiting.
Hats off to whveoer wrote this up and posted it.
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What you can take away from this Galen is two things – maybe the first chapter needs a bit of tweaking (something we as writers hate to admit) and obviously she didn’t “get it” the way another agent might. There’s nothing wrong with a rejection, as long as you don’t let it derail your ambition. From the post, it sounds to me like you’ve taken from this what you need to and will continue to persevere.
Underdeveloped in the first chapter? Good grief, I have trouble getting a character developed fully in the first three chapters. Oh well, you seem to know how to add grains of salt where needed, lol. Hey Galen, got your book today – looks great – thanks! Will read and get you a review soon.
The Old Silly
Galen, Karen is right. And Eric. And Hart. And AlexJ. Not all agents or editors will like our work. Once published, not all reviewers and readers will like our work. And all of those folks may form their opinions based on a short synopsis/book flap copy and one chapter. Shrug, say “whatever”, eat chocolate (or have a Scotch if you’re a drinking man) and send out more queries. It’s what we do.