Comments (9)

By Galen, April 2, 2010 4:30 AM

We’ve all heard (no pun intended–you’ll see why in a moment) it:  Write what you know.  It’s probably good advice, not only for writing, but when generalized, for most things in life. 

For example, I just had an electrical contractor install a new switch.  Result? Looks great, works great, the house isn’t gonna burn to the ground and there’s a lot less wear and tear on me…always a good thing.

However, for those of you who remain unconvinced, here’s a short epistle that illustrates the principle of know what you know…

For those who have never traveled to the West or Southwest, cattle-guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings, in roadways, or across highways, to prevent cattle (herd??? heard? There’s a knee-slapper) from crossing.

For reasons unknown to modern (or ancient) science, cattle recognize these rail-like devices and will not step on the "guards." We can theorize that it’s probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails.  That’s only a theory, however, because cattle, being naturally recalcitrant, won’t answer questions about their behavior—or much of anything, actually.

Recently, President Obama received a report that there were, “over 100,000 cattle-guards” in Colorado. Because Colorado ranchers had protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, The President, in a great example not knowing what you don’t know, ordered the Secretary of the Interior to fire half of the guards as an unnecessary suck on the Federal budget.

Before the Interior Secretary could respond–and presumably straighten out The President–Vice-President Biden, intervened with a request that before any guards were fired, they be given six months of retraining.

Ya, see, that’s just wrong.  Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.  Why retrain someone if you’re gonna fire them?

So, there you have it.  Write about what you know…or…study up on it and then, write about it.  Of course, by that time…you’ll know it.  You know?

Hope you can screw up your courage and come back by on Monday.  I’ll try to do the same.  Have a great, playful, and happy weekend.  Galen. 

New Mexico version of a house pet.  Meet,  “Armando The Silent.”

Comments (13)

By Galen, March 31, 2010 7:01 AM

As I continue to careen unchecked into the weirder and weirder, I believe this post will represent a new low and alienate the few readers I have left.

“Credit:” Stolen from KOMO TV news in Seattle—even I couldn’t make this up.  Why couldn’t I have found this on Ground Hog day???

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. (AP) – Police say they charged a Pennsylvania man with public drunkenness after he was seen trying to resuscitate a long-dead opossum along a highway.

State police Trooper Jamie Levier says several witnesses saw 55-year-old Donald Wolfe, of Brookville, near the animal Thursday along Route 36 in Oliver Township, about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh.

The trooper says one person saw Wolfe kneeling before the animal and gesturing as though he were conducting a séance. He says another saw Wolfe attempting to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Levier says the animal already had been dead a while.

The Associated Press could not locate a home telephone number for Wolfe.

Well, what do you think, a new bottom…no, not for Mr. Wolfe, for me??

Comments (9)

By Galen, March 29, 2010 7:08 AM

Winston the Dog gets six months probation for his attack on Chattanooga police.

The policeman was sitting in his car, shooting radar, when his vehicle suddenly started rocking. The dog attacked his front bumper, ripping it to shreds. He eventually moved on to the tires, puncturing them.

Police tried a taser on Winston, but it still didn’t stop him.

He damaged several vehicles before his rampage was over, but he never attacked any humans.

On March 25th, a judge gave Winston 6 months to straighten out his act or he’ll be put down. After the hearing, Chattanooga Police released this video of the incident, taken by several of their cars’ dash cams.